When you first cross over that legal drinking age, you really aren’t too concerned about what’s going into your body. Your friends throw out dares and you naively accept. For those who haven’t already learned the hard way, here are the traps to avoid. None of these drinks are a good look. Ever.
Everclear, You Should Fear
Everclear has the highest alcohol content of all liquor. Made from corn, it’s bottled at 151-proof (75.5% alcohol content) and at 190-proof (95% alcohol content).
California, Florida, Maine, Massachusetts, Hawaii, Iowa, Michigan, New York, Nevada, Ohio, Washington, North Carolina, New Hampshire and Minnesota have all banned Everclear from being sold. In Pennsylvania, you can buy it—but only if you prove that you’re using it to clean your house!
It’s odorless and sneaks up on you in the deadliest way. Everclear has a high blackout rate. Not to mention, the calories you intake drinking this stuff are ridiculous! Most liquors lie around 90 calories per shot… Everclear has 285!
What’s the point of ever drinking this stuff? There are no pros on this list.
Malört: “The Worst Liquor Ever”
Malört is made with Swedish wormwood, which is the same ingredient in absinthe, a historically highly alcoholic liquor. Made in Florida but mainly sold in Chicago, it’s described to taste like burning rubber.
In the Windy City, a shot of this stuff is a dare for newbies, a rite of passage, a journey most don’t finish without severe consequences. On one YouTube channel, Chicago natives were interviewed about the taste. Answers ranged from gasoline to earwax, Adolf Hitler, and even OFF! Deep Woods bug spray.
Just don’t go there.
Is Jose Cuervo Especial Even Tequila?
Most bad experiences with tequila can be traced back to Jose Cuervo Especial. It’s the cheapest tequila you can buy, with a day-after headache to match. As horrible as it is, Jose Cuervo Especial isn’t on the decline, thanks to fraternities everywhere.
Good tequila is 100% Agave alcohol. Jose Cuervo Especial is only 51% Agave alcohol. The bottom line: this stuff isn’t really tequila. Regardless of this fact, there are 20-somethings on every college campus who swear by it.
A rule for life: Buy a drink that you’ll enjoy from start to finish. If you have made one of these mistakes, it’s okay to feel regret.